Note to self: Don't take travel advice from Clark Griswold. (credit: Warner Bros.)Family travel: A sure-fire disaster just waiting to suck your spirit dry.
Or is it?
Hollywood would sure like us to think so. From the misadventures of the Griswolds in "National Lampoon's Vacation" to its countless contemporary adaptations, the folly of families coping with the unfamiliar on film has helped frame such a trip as an experience worth dreading for both parents and children. But are the headaches worth it?
We've gathered our favorite travel experts from across the Web to weigh in on the trials of the modern family trip and whether the myths are true. We've also picked their brains to discover the most surprisingly superb family destinations, how to pick the right hotel, and where they side on the great safety debate of putting leashes on children. Got any tips of your own? Want to share your past family travel experiences, good or bad? Share this and all else in the comments below.
First, a bit about our gracious contributors:
Nancy Sathre-Vogel helms Family on Bikes, a chronicle of her family's ambitiously awesome goal to bike from Alaska to Argentina. Follow her and the family on Twitter @familyonbikes.
Adrienne Mitra is the owner of Celebrations International Travel, a full-service agency focused on serving a number of niche markets, including culinary travel, cruises, tours, all-inclusive resorts, and group travel. Adrienne and her family are avid world travelers and they are especially proud of the custom work they do for clients. Follow Adrienne at her blog here and Twitter @CelebrationsInt.
Apryl Thomas is a freelance writer specializing in travel, family and health whose work has appeared in dozens of publications including Business Traveler and Women's Health and Fitness. Follow her on Twitter @travelinggal. Check out her blog on road trips here.
Suzanne Rowan-Kelleher is the editor-in-chief of We Just Got Back, a comprehensive site focused on family travel, and is a family travel expert for sites like Oprah.com, Disney, and Forbes. Follow her on Twitter @wejustgotback.
Nick Bowditch runs Nick Bowditch Travel, an agency based in Australia that prides itself in personal, up-front family travel and adventure consultancy. Check him out on Twitter @nickbowditch.
And on to the burning questions:
1. Why should families travel together? Or should they?
We live in an era when families spend much less time together, on average, than in past generations. And while today's parents are arguably busier and more stressed than their own parents were, they typically take less paid vacation time. Vacations are a great way for families to reconnect and have fun together in a new place. Of course, there are a gazillion other great benefits, such as the chance to expand horizons, learn about different cultures, foster an appreciation of diversity, and teach kids a lot of valuable life skills. But I think the best reasons to travel together is the most basic: to simply spend quality time together.
- Suzanne Rowan Kelleher
Of course they should! Particularly with a young family, travel offers a chance for the kids not only to see, feel, taste and experience new things, but to do it with the people who are most important to them (and their best teachers) their parents.
- Nick Bowditch
Should families travel together? Heck yeah! One of the best things a family can do is to unite together to accomplish a common goal. In today’s society where Mom and Dad both head out to separate workplaces every morning and the kids jump on various buses to their respective schools, there is very little opportunity for families to work together. We all lead our separate lives and there is little uniting us together as a unit.
But perhaps the strongest reason families should travel together is that travel is the best education there is. A well-traveled person understands that borders are nothing more than lines on a map. They understand that humanity is all the same – regardless of their language, religion, or skin color. The person who has explored the world knows that all people have the same basic needs – food, water, and a place to sleep. They truly know that a smile is a smile no matter where you were born.
- Nancy Sathre-Vogel
- Suzanne Rowan Kelleher
Of course they should! Particularly with a young family, travel offers a chance for the kids not only to see, feel, taste and experience new things, but to do it with the people who are most important to them (and their best teachers) their parents.
- Nick Bowditch
Should families travel together? Heck yeah! One of the best things a family can do is to unite together to accomplish a common goal. In today’s society where Mom and Dad both head out to separate workplaces every morning and the kids jump on various buses to their respective schools, there is very little opportunity for families to work together. We all lead our separate lives and there is little uniting us together as a unit.
But perhaps the strongest reason families should travel together is that travel is the best education there is. A well-traveled person understands that borders are nothing more than lines on a map. They understand that humanity is all the same – regardless of their language, religion, or skin color. The person who has explored the world knows that all people have the same basic needs – food, water, and a place to sleep. They truly know that a smile is a smile no matter where you were born.
- Nancy Sathre-Vogel
2. Myths, whether from Hollywood or otherwise, can make parents dread taking kids along on a trip. What is the poorest excuse a parent can make for avoiding a family trip? Why?
The poorest excuse that I most frequently hear is "It's too much work to travel with the kids." As a working mom of two small children, what I'd like to know is why anyone would consider an opportunity to be with their family "work". The way I see it, traveling with kids involves no more effort than what parents typically do for their kids on an average day, if even that much. My family has a great time traveling together, and we hope to impart our love of travel and new experiences to others.
- Adrienne Mitra
Poorest excuse: children too young, won't member the trip, we will spend all our times on the bathroom, they won't like trying new thing (food, activities, etc.) My oldest (8 years old) remembers part of trips she took when she was four. They do remember things. And being on vacation, kids try new things. My children eat their best at Disney World. It's amazing, but true.
- Apryl Thomas
The poorest excuse that I most frequently hear is "It's too much work to travel with the kids." As a working mom of two small children, what I'd like to know is why anyone would consider an opportunity to be with their family "work". The way I see it, traveling with kids involves no more effort than what parents typically do for their kids on an average day, if even that much. My family has a great time traveling together, and we hope to impart our love of travel and new experiences to others.
- Adrienne Mitra
Poorest excuse: children too young, won't member the trip, we will spend all our times on the bathroom, they won't like trying new thing (food, activities, etc.) My oldest (8 years old) remembers part of trips she took when she was four. They do remember things. And being on vacation, kids try new things. My children eat their best at Disney World. It's amazing, but true.
- Apryl Thomas
These days, lots of families say they can't afford a vacation, and that's certainly a valid concern in a down economy. And yet a vacation doesn't have to mean crossing the country or paying an arm and a leg. I always advise folks to check out the deals page on the tourism web sites for their home state and neighboring states. Also, Travelzoo.com has a great tool called "deals near you" that helps you find bargains within driving distance of your home. When you take a look at some of the fantastic opportunities in your own backyard, you might be surprised at how affordable a vacation can be.
- Suzanne Rowan Kelleher
- Suzanne Rowan Kelleher
The poorest excuse for avoiding a trip is thinking that the kids can't handle it. We have been asked again and again, "How are the kids holding up on such an extended bicycle trip?" The expectation is that kids can't head out to ride their bike from one end of the earth to the other. But our experience has shown that the boys are more than capable of doingsuch a trek - perhaps more so than my husband and I.
The important thing is to trust your children and expect them to live up to your expectations. They will do whatever you expect them to do. Never doubt your child. Never, ever doubt your child.
- Nancy Sathre-Vogel
3. In your experience, what destination ended up surprising you in how fulfilling and fun it was as a family destination? How come?
I think the most surprising feedback I get from families about the success of their family holiday is when they haven’t done the generic family trip to theme parks or kid-friendly, all-inclusive resorts. If you are up for it, and think you could handle taking your kids, say on a backpacking trip through Cambodia and Laos, you will definitely be rewarded by how fulfilling and interesting it can be for your family and how fascinated the kids will be with a completely different culture.
- Nick Bowditch
Palm Springs, simply because it is often thought of as a destination for golfers, retirees and as being exclusively for wealthy people. However, they have an excellent children's museum, parks, playgrounds, and other family-friendly attractions.
- Adrienne Mitra
3. In your experience, what destination ended up surprising you in how fulfilling and fun it was as a family destination? How come?
I think the most surprising feedback I get from families about the success of their family holiday is when they haven’t done the generic family trip to theme parks or kid-friendly, all-inclusive resorts. If you are up for it, and think you could handle taking your kids, say on a backpacking trip through Cambodia and Laos, you will definitely be rewarded by how fulfilling and interesting it can be for your family and how fascinated the kids will be with a completely different culture.- Nick Bowditch
Palm Springs, simply because it is often thought of as a destination for golfers, retirees and as being exclusively for wealthy people. However, they have an excellent children's museum, parks, playgrounds, and other family-friendly attractions.
- Adrienne Mitra
4. Finding the right lodging can make a trip considerably more smooth and stress-free. What are some important family-friendly attributes you look for in a hotel before you book?
Space! I love staying at such places as Hampton Inn & Suites, Residence Inn - any place with suites. More space - the happier people are! Pools are great also.
- Apryl Thomas
Without a doubt, the number one consideration is the kids club. More importantly, whether the kids club is age-specific. For instance, in Thailand, there are a number of excellent hotels that cater almost specifically for the family market. A couple of these have age-specific kids clubs where 3 year olds kids aren’t in the same groups as 5 or 6 years and 10 year olds don’t have to do activities and games with 4 year olds and so on. This just makes the holiday so much better for the entire family because the kids are well looked after and not bored or put in groups and doing activities that are too old or too young for them – AND the parents get a break too!
- Nick Bowditch
Space! I love staying at such places as Hampton Inn & Suites, Residence Inn - any place with suites. More space - the happier people are! Pools are great also.
- Apryl Thomas
Without a doubt, the number one consideration is the kids club. More importantly, whether the kids club is age-specific. For instance, in Thailand, there are a number of excellent hotels that cater almost specifically for the family market. A couple of these have age-specific kids clubs where 3 year olds kids aren’t in the same groups as 5 or 6 years and 10 year olds don’t have to do activities and games with 4 year olds and so on. This just makes the holiday so much better for the entire family because the kids are well looked after and not bored or put in groups and doing activities that are too old or too young for them – AND the parents get a break too!
- Nick Bowditch
It's easy to figure out which hotels are family-friendly when you ask the right questions. This is especially important when your kids are very small.
*Is there a small refrigerator in the room? Or better yet, a microwave and a fridge? Many hotels offer them nowadays. I'm a huge fan of extended-stay, all-suite hotels with full kitchens and spacious, condo-like floorplans.
*Can the hotel provide a portable crib or a rollaway cot at no charge?
*Is there a swimming pool and/or other free and fun recreational opportunities?
*Does the hotel's restaurant have a children's menu?
*Does the hotel offer any special pricing for families -- perhaps a "kids eat free" dining deal or a discount on a second room?
If the answer to most of these questions is no, then chances are the hotel isn't a good fit for families with young kids.
- Suzanne Rowan Kelleher
- Suzanne Rowan Kelleher
5. Plane rides, buses and waiting rooms can take a serious toll on kids' attention spans. What are some successful ways your family keeps each other occupied?
It's important to bring things you can do together and also independently. We play card games, do word or math puzzles, write in journals, listen to music, and whatever else we are into at the moment. Now that my kids are all school-age, they each bring their own Nintendo DS. The array of games is unbelievable, with something for everybody. Many allow for multiple players with Wi-Fi connectivity, so we often play each other and set up tournaments. They also like watching movies on my iPod Touch.
- Suzanne Rowan Kelleher
We have very seldom experienced any problems with keeping the kids occupied. When possible,
they take a small backpack with toys, books, or movies with them, if we have access to a portable DVD player. Many major airports have activity stations or play areas for the kids, and if not, we usually find some place where they can sit and color or look at books. On longer plane rides, one or both of them is usually asleep, and we read, play games, or talk about our plans for the trip with the other child.
- Adrienne Mitra
Games and activities have largely been replaced by iPods and Nintendo DS’s now and I think that’s a bit of a shame. The one upside to that, though, is that if you introduce your kids to a game that we played when we were kids, it will probably be something new to them and therefore engaging, even for a longer duration. Healthy snacks, adequate hydration and enough toilet stops are also vitally important on longer road trips.
- Nick Bowditch
- Suzanne Rowan Kelleher
We have very seldom experienced any problems with keeping the kids occupied. When possible,
they take a small backpack with toys, books, or movies with them, if we have access to a portable DVD player. Many major airports have activity stations or play areas for the kids, and if not, we usually find some place where they can sit and color or look at books. On longer plane rides, one or both of them is usually asleep, and we read, play games, or talk about our plans for the trip with the other child.- Adrienne Mitra
Games and activities have largely been replaced by iPods and Nintendo DS’s now and I think that’s a bit of a shame. The one upside to that, though, is that if you introduce your kids to a game that we played when we were kids, it will probably be something new to them and therefore engaging, even for a longer duration. Healthy snacks, adequate hydration and enough toilet stops are also vitally important on longer road trips.
- Nick Bowditch
6. Safety is a prevailing concern for parents when abroad (and otherwise). An extremely sensitive and divisive topic in this realm is the concept of putting younger children on leashes. Do you think parents are right or wrong in using them? Why?
I don't have any problem with using leashes, but we found we never needed them. One of the things I learned long ago as a teacher taking field trips is that kids seek safety and rarely wander off. Besides that, our parental intuition led to us always knowing where they were anyway.
- Nancy Sathre-Vogel
Putting your child on a leash isn't a bad thing except if your child isn't actually a dog or cat. As a parent of a particularly wild child, I can definitely see the temptation of using one of these leashes, but I just think it is demeaning. I would go back to my previous point, if you can provide enough stimulation, with the appropriate amount of quiet time, kids should be entertained, safe, and most importantly, not treated like pets.
- Nick Bowditch
My goodness, is this really a divisive topic? Seriously? Toddler harnesses can come in very handy when traveling with an independent toddler. They give young walkers a bit of freedom but also keep them close and safe. What are the alternatives? To walk hand-in-hand or to keep the child constantly strapped in a stroller. If using a harness keeps a kid happy and safe, I don't see any problem.
- Suzanne Rowan Kelleher
I don't think parents are right or wrong to use leashes, but personally, I don't see the point of using one. So what if the child is on a leash that I'm holding on to? There is absolutely nothing preventing a perpetrator from either cutting the leash or simply unharnessing the child the minute he or she walks far enough away that the leash is fully extended. Keep in mind that in crowded areas, the parent may not always be in full view of the child on the leash. Instead, I think keeping the child with you (either held firmly by the hand at all times or strapped into a stroller of some type that you never let go of) would be a better safety measure than a harness. Of course, nothing ever takes the place of vigilant adult supervision.
- Adrienne Mitra
Many thanks to our contributors! Keep the discussion going below, and be sure to follow us on Twitter.
(Photo credits: Warner Bros., axlotl, wyldh20.com)
- Suzanne Rowan Kelleher
I don't think parents are right or wrong to use leashes, but personally, I don't see the point of using one. So what if the child is on a leash that I'm holding on to? There is absolutely nothing preventing a perpetrator from either cutting the leash or simply unharnessing the child the minute he or she walks far enough away that the leash is fully extended. Keep in mind that in crowded areas, the parent may not always be in full view of the child on the leash. Instead, I think keeping the child with you (either held firmly by the hand at all times or strapped into a stroller of some type that you never let go of) would be a better safety measure than a harness. Of course, nothing ever takes the place of vigilant adult supervision.
- Adrienne Mitra
Many thanks to our contributors! Keep the discussion going below, and be sure to follow us on Twitter.
(Photo credits: Warner Bros., axlotl, wyldh20.com)
8 comments:
Interesting reading!
We have been traveling the world as a family non-stop since 2006 to 4 continents, 32 countries so far and think it is much easier, cheaper & enriching than most know!
We have traveled over 175,000 miles (mostly over land) but see no reason for a Nintendo DS or i-phone. BOOKS are the best travel companion for kids/families IMHO.
That combo has helped our child test years ahead of age-peers, given her years of fun & the best education.Plus, less stuff makes for more money to travel and really spend quality & quantity time together!
Kids on leashes? Ugh! I once knew an adult who was still emotionally traumatized by her toddler years using one.
We have a highly active child who walked at 6 months & ran faster than me at 9 months and wild child who would run football fields away from us even at that age.
I understand the temptation, but we think its best to support the freedom of such a child. We never even used a stroller or pram even though we did a ton of travel with her starting at 2 weeks. Slings worked better for us in baby years.
For goodness sake, let kids walk once they can! There is nothing sadder than seeing a huge 4,5 or 6 year old still in a stroller. It's not good for their health or sense of self.
You'd be amazed at how well and far a 2 year old can walk, let alone a 4,5, or 6 year old who is not coddled! Ours walked all day, every day in Paris, Brussels, Rome, etc at that age.
They don't need leashes or strollers, just hold their hands when needed! Go at a kids pace, not adults. Common sense.
Love the idea of avoiding theme parks and trying more exotic travel as a family! Slow travel suits families and is also cheaper & easily doable for families that homeschool.
Nothing can beat family travel for the bonding, shared experience and education!
OK folks, I am now a Great-grandma & I remember my mother having a harness on me & a leash! NOT a problem. She had asthma, only 4'11" tall, 29 when I, her first & only child was born. She never learned to drive a car, so we traveled everywhere, together via bus, including shopping. I was fine with the leash. It freed my hands to keep them in my 'muff' to stay warm (PA & a trip to Detroit in the winter~very cold). Mother couldn't carry me, strollers were not foldable & portable like now, & it allowed me to be with her. I was 3 & still remember my nose getting 'stuck' when I crunched it up-it was that cold. Can still hear the sound of the hard snow packed under my feet as we walked on the sidewalks of Detroit, so wide they were like a road in rural PA where we lived. I still remember the train ride to get there, too. I say take kids along, use leashes, keep them safe, even the adult traumatized *Rare* is better than parent experiencing child being abducted, hit by a car, or the such! (Two adult daughters of mine have died now, & losing a child is the Worst, at any age!!!) At age 8 I visited my dad in NJ & he took me to NYC-top of the Empire State Bldg., & the Ferry to the Statue of Liberty! I still remember the winding stairs to the torch! Elevator only goes up so far~then you walk! Take photos, they help bring back the memories! Enjoy your kids; your life~it all goes by Too fast, remember, I am now a Great-grandma!(Today-Dec. 8th, 2009-my oldest daughter Would have been 50 years old-Happy Birthday "Sunday" (I named her from "Our Gal Sunday" a radio Soap in the early 1940's-I listened with my mother & said, "When I grow up and get married and have a little girl I am going to name her "Sunday." I did. See, a lot of us DO remember things from early childhood.)
As the mother of two developmentally disabled children (one of them somewhat older - gradeschool), I do put my disabled children on the cuddly-type leashes. The girls pick them out themselves. For my autistic child (1st grade), the leash provides a sense of security FOR HER. She is afraid of being lost, but wants freedom of movement that being put in a stroller does not provide. The leash is her connection to me and a simple reminder of where we are at all times. To a child that struggles with awareness of the situation, being connected provides her with a feeling of safety. It also lets me rest assured that she has not unintentionally wondered off (especially important in very crowded places).
In 1991, I had to travel from Iran to the US (with many stops in between) with my very lively 2 - year old son in tow. Throughout the trip to the US, I was frazzled trying to keep my son right by my side in busy airports while keeping up with my luggage, and racing to gates and ticket counters. For the trip back to Iran, my mother suggested a child-leash, and I never hesitated. The trip back was much less stressful! I wasn't terrified my son would be whisked off the second I looked away - or of him zipping away (that became a game for him on the trip over - I must have lost 20 pounds just racing after him and clinging to him). I got quite a few angry stares from other people, even snickering and laughter - but my son is now almost 21 - he's alive and well and still in my life...that's what matters.
We put a toddler harness on our son when we went to an amusement park, it worked out great for us. (Before we became parents, we promised ourselves we would never do that.)
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